the boring leading the bored
Saturday, April 26, 2003
sometimes i take words i hear, and play around with them in my mind, and then regurgitate them and they are all garbled into some sort of thing that is humourous to me... but everyone thinks im nuts.
went out with shan tonight. it was nice cause we never get to hang out these days. did borders and starbucks. borders... man i love that place. looked at the making faces book again, and found the andy warhol pop box again, and looked at a book about STUFF of the century, and... hm... oh yeah. a learn to speak italian book. i would love to learn italian. there was even... WICKED ITALIAN! i thought of Joe.
still a mite sickly.
all buzzy on frappucino.
its cold... put on my white scarf.
i wish i had money for books.... and music... and all sorts of other fun toys too but it just doesn't happen. i must SAVE.
its so weird... 9 days now til im 16. and i am approached with an opportunity i have been just DYING to seize but now it really scares me. im afraid. and im not sure why. maybe its because previous experiences were bad, maybe its because ive had to try to discipline myself so much... im genuinely scared that nothing is going to work. i guess that means i will have safe expectations. shrug. it makes me sorry.
the boys and girls game is a weird one that i am not playing..... im just... i dunno. skirting it. or maybe ive grown up. or maybe ive already lost? or won? this makes no sense im sure... its late.
wrote some poetry with frank today... or tried... the girl who loves free verse and the boy who swears by iambic pentameter dont have much success. but we decided that someones father is dead times... five?
shannons room is so cute. its not fair, i want to have a crazy collage wall again!!!! but i wont. it doesnt fit the motif....i think....ill do the door. or the closet.
shoot. im sooo cold!
i like hugs.
music: right now? crimson and clover....over and over...
and "rabbits dying"
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