the boring leading the bored
Saturday, April 12, 2003
today was a pretty cool day, on the whole.
laid down my new floor, enfin! its sooo pretty... all checkered black and white. i think it perfects my "pop art palace" : ) mom n dad n jeff helped. it was cool.
went to rojos 18 bday soiree. it was a really enjoyable time. played some pool, and ive decided i really liked the game. i suck, but its cool. i wanna get really good and become a pool shark! i also played some video game where you crashed cars. it was fun. i met a lot of ben and rojo's friends. they were all really nice, although some were weird. but hey... i shouldnt talk. i met this beca ive heard so much about, and her friend sandy. sandy was an absolute doll... she was the cutest... and although i didnt talk to beca too much she seemed really nice. shrug. the highlight of the evening was sitting out in rojo's mushy yard and looking at the stars with robyn. ben smashed his face into the ground... sorta my fault but not really... and then later he brought us candy. and then we gave the wrappers back to him... and then seth dropped them on our faces and we laughed hysterically for no reason. the stars were beautiful. we saw orion (and his belt) and the little dipper...
i also spent time with chriskitty, rojos cat. shes the cutest cat ever and she reminds me of my beloved sadie, may she rest in peace. i wanted to catnap her. she licked my hands a lot.
i had a really good time. but im led to wonder... is that wicked? because two special boys i know spent the evening just analyzing. then they patted themselves on the back for being right. makes sense that they are right, they usually are... but still. it was really annoying. it gave off this air of superiority... but i mean, at least one of those boys is ALWAYS analyzing things. he cant enjoy anything, he just thinks too much. where is the joie de vivre there? and is joie de vivre necessary? am i wrong when i have a nice evening? should i always be in some... other... mode? i have to say i disagree with him. if i behaved like that... at least, as much as he did, i would be perfectly miserable. and while happiness isnt usually paramount, i have trouble believing that my misery would be what God really wanted. maybe im wrong.
i mean, really... ive noticed myself doing it lately. thinking i have everything figured out and im wayyy smarter than my peers. i just screwed myself up a lot... and hopefully learned a little from it. but honestly... although i may know more, i really know nothing. and acting like im some sage isnt going to help me help people. love first. and although a part of loving is that tough love and wisdom, i think more of it is really just reaching into someone's heart. leveling with them, not preaching. i think it all comes down to grace.
theres just too little grace in the world.
wow i sorta went crazy there... but i had to get it out.
music: jeff's vines cd and 80s pop
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