the boring leading the bored
Tuesday, May 20, 2003
today...
un jour de beacoup de sentiments...
good: i made it alive. after school anna, stella, sam and me went to ritters. we walked. in the rain. we got very wet but we had a lot of fun. we ate the ice creams and saw jay in his incredibly attractive uniform... sorry jay, but the hat does nothing for you, even with the slick new haircut. but hey, work is work. and you made a darn good glacier. and thanks for the cherry on top! after ice cream, the girls came back home with me and we played ddr and talked.
bad: the world (and by "the world" i mean "high school") is a genuinely scary and sad place. last night, someone i know fairly well and just love attempted suicide. she failed, thank God, but it's just so.... scary. and sad. i wonder what i could have done about it? and what i can do to keep it from happening to someone else? i hope she will be okay. i also found out today that people at my school have sex! a lot! and they get hiv... its just sad. i suppose i always sorta knew it was happening but id never really come to terms with it... i mean, there is a life-threatening disease getting passed around, here. and it just scares and saddens me. i know im being redundant, by the way. it makes me feel good about myself that ive retained some innocence so far... i still wish i didnt know about this stuff... but i have a feeling blind eyes arent going to solve the problem. but then, im not going to be able to solve the problem anyway.
i feel small... yet i still cant get over my stupid self.
c'est la vie. tomorrow is another day, i guess. i suppose ill just do what i can.
music: les mis in my, head, fif, the cure
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