the boring leading the bored
Saturday, April 26, 2003
saturday. fun day.
woke up WAY too early so i could get a haircut. mark did a good job though... but its short!
took a nap.
costume fitting! it was actually sorta cool. my dress, for all its floofiness, is really growing on me. and i was there with stella, and i saw sam and andrea too. i got some shoes and some gloves too.
quiet afternoon... dont totally remember it.
wait yes i do.
painted mirror frame
watched Tuck Everlasting... good movie. sad, though. i cried a little.
played Pokemon Snap on N64... what fun! i really enjoy that game...
went to dinner with fam
evening: went to the magic show at school! it was really cool and fun. the guy was really good. and he reminded me of mr. hardesty sooo much it was just weird. ran into stella, andrea, sam, erin, michelle, brian, doug, and caroline there and we sat together. we had lots of fun. then we walked to ritters together and we were all so hyper and all screaming... it was funny. andrea was all cold (wearing a teeshirt! poor thing) so we walked with our arms around each other... people probably thought we were like.... together or something. but hey, she IS my girlfriend. doug made the suggestion that we should just all get married as one big group... its an interesting suggestion, just because we would have the most fun ever. but our kids would be MESSED UP. when we got to ritters, it wasnt long before who should show up but ryan m, amber, ian, and sam! and they also had ben locked in the trunk.... they eventually let him out. and naturally, being theatre people, we caused a scene. we all sat around and did the ice cream thing and it was way fun. gave boy sam a ride home, it was all very cool.
ok i think im done.
music: lovesong by the cure...
however far away I will always love you
howeverlong I stay I will always love you
whateverwords I say I will always love you
I will always love you
simple words but the way they are sung... sooo goooood....
went out with shan tonight. it was nice cause we never get to hang out these days. did borders and starbucks. borders... man i love that place. looked at the making faces book again, and found the andy warhol pop box again, and looked at a book about STUFF of the century, and... hm... oh yeah. a learn to speak italian book. i would love to learn italian. there was even... WICKED ITALIAN! i thought of Joe.
still a mite sickly.
all buzzy on frappucino.
its cold... put on my white scarf.
i wish i had money for books.... and music... and all sorts of other fun toys too but it just doesn't happen. i must SAVE.
its so weird... 9 days now til im 16. and i am approached with an opportunity i have been just DYING to seize but now it really scares me. im afraid. and im not sure why. maybe its because previous experiences were bad, maybe its because ive had to try to discipline myself so much... im genuinely scared that nothing is going to work. i guess that means i will have safe expectations. shrug. it makes me sorry.
the boys and girls game is a weird one that i am not playing..... im just... i dunno. skirting it. or maybe ive grown up. or maybe ive already lost? or won? this makes no sense im sure... its late.
wrote some poetry with frank today... or tried... the girl who loves free verse and the boy who swears by iambic pentameter dont have much success. but we decided that someones father is dead times... five?
shannons room is so cute. its not fair, i want to have a crazy collage wall again!!!! but i wont. it doesnt fit the motif....i think....ill do the door. or the closet.
shoot. im sooo cold!
i like hugs.
music: right now? crimson and clover....over and over...
and "rabbits dying"
Thursday, April 24, 2003
Mean lil fellow, arn't you?
What Monty Python Character are you?
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what a great quiz! TAKE IT NOW! NEVER TAKE IT!
filmfest last night was pretty ok... many of the films werent too good though. sam didnt win again this year, not even people's choice. carlo pretty much swept... which is fine with me. i even voted for him. cause his movie wasnt a movie, it was a FILM. and i liked that. it made me think... and i think carlo would probably like that. and nolan was in it!... not that im name dropping.
im sick. and its evil. cause im sick enough that im consistently uncomfortable, but not so sick that i would stay home (even if i could afford to miss the school). and im just not getting better.
finished my book. it was so gooooood. i mean, maybe it was nothing positively brilliant and profound, but i will venture to say it had an excellent ending and was overall a very good story. its nice to read a story every so often.
didnt get to do pictures with sam today... makes me sad. but i probably woulda just passed out anyway. sickly.
my teeth hurt. this rubber band is just eeeevil. it hurts. it wont allow me to open my mouth very far at all. and it makes my face sit funny... not good things.
uuuuuuuuuuhhhh. i think thats it.
music: the smiths/morrissey, throwing muses, and... the police.
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
hm. im sorta boring. and here i am, leading the bored.
film festival tonight! im really excited, even though my boy sam didnt put me in his movie this year... sniff. oh well, hes still a total doll.
other sam is a doll too... and shes gonna take pikshurs of me! for her photography project! im way pumped.
wore red lipstick to school today. its interesting that such a small thing got a tremendous reaction.
reading To Kill A Mockingbird for english. its a pretty good book. i can actually get into it because it reads like a normal novel, unlike everything else we've read this year. its comfortable.
so im gonna be sixteen in a week and a half. its the weirdest feeling. being sixteen is something you wait for, not something that actually happens. and those who know me know this is a little bit of a big deal to me... because of... stuff... and its a little overwhelming. and just weird. needless to say i wont be getting my liscense as soon as i turn sixteen.
the easter bunny brought me Abbey Road in my easter basket! yay! man the suite is so amazing.... i wish i woulda wrote it. or that i could write music at all.
how does my mom sneak up behind me every five minutes without me EVER noticing? ill just eventually feel this presence and ill turn around and there she'll be... as she has been for the last five minutes... its creepy.
anyway... i think im done.
music: the police, gosh darn it. i never realized how much i totally loved this band til my mom bought their greatest hits cd the other day. forget that they are crappy 80s pop, i think they are amazing and their songs are poetic bordering on profound, the way the lyrics combine with the dreamy synthy music... here's the lyrics to one of my favorite songs...
Just a castaway
An island lost at sea
Another lonely day
With no one here but me
More loneliness
Than any man could bear
Rescue me before I fall into despair
I'll send an SOS to the world
I'll send an SOS to the world
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle
A year has passed since I wrote my note
But I should have known this right from the start
Only hope can keep me together
Love can mend your life
But love can break your heart
I'll send an SOS to the world
I'll send an SOS to the world
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle
Walked out this morning
Don't believe what I saw
A hundred billion bottles
Washed up on the shore
Seems I'm not alone at being alone
A hundred billion casatways
Looking for a home
I'll send an SOS to the world
I'll send an SOS to the world
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle
Sending out an SOS
i like that song. it reminds me of something Ben once said. or maybe twice.
Saturday, April 19, 2003
so here i am in beautiful scenic cincinnati. in my aunts computer room. at night.
welcome to the black hole.
today was alright, what with cleaning and traveling and...shiver...driving. im really learning to hate it actually. wanna hear a breakdown of driving?
first five minutes: ok. a few slip-ups, just getting into it
ten minutes: smokin. and by smokin i mean cruising comfortably and confidently at 15 mph.
fifteen minutes: still doing ok, but the driving is intensifying and i start to slip up a tiny bit.
twenty minutes: getting nervous, but still under control. minor mistakes every so often. grip on steering wheel tightens.
twenty five minutes: starting to lose it. gripping steering wheel tightly, getting tired, getting shaky. nervous. mess up a little more.
thirty minutes: just hanging on. a mistake can send me into...
the driving panic attack! i can no longer drive the car. if i try, i make serious errors. i cry. being in teh car, even if i am not driving, freaks me out and makes me feel unsatfe and like im hurtling at breakneck speeds. i eventually begin to shake and hyperventilate.
and thats why i hate driving.
on a lighter note, i got new lipstick today! its red. it will go nicely with my easter dress, which i am wearing despite its condition. im gonna be sooooo cute.... i think...
my cousins live in this house. they are cute. the younger one, poor kid (hes one and a half-ish) burned his hand on the stove today. his hand was all wrapped up in gauze it was so sad... hes mostly okay i think though. im excited cause i get to play easter bunny tonight.
well um... i guess thats all...
music: the police... esp. dont stand so close to me. nothing quite like a song about an illicit love affair between a student and her teacher.
its a beautiful thing.
today was pretty okay. slept till noon and had a quiet day. lots of internet and other assorted small tasks. i ran. and tried to fix my dress cause theres a HOLE IN IT! YES, THATS RIGHT, MY SIGNATURE BLUE POLKA DOT DRESS HAS A HOLE IN IT! and ive never even worn it... sniff. i tried to use an iron-on patch but it didnt work so i stitched it up...with black thread... and it looks like crap but hopefully nobody will notice.
went to church for good friday. it was cool. its sometimes hard to grasp the reality of good friday, maybe just because i dont let myself. its just too unpleasant. but thank God for it because now i dont have to suffer... and thats a good good thing. as usual, me and ben exchanged stuff. and by that i mean he stole my shoe and gave me his garage door opener, his keys, and his wallet. note: we traded back...so he could get back in his house... but yeah it was pretty cool-like.
so um... i wasted a lot of time today and have decided productivity is overrated. in fact, im wasting time as we speak.
love you
love you
love you
love you
music: love, salvation, and the fear of death by sixpence
and the smiths
Thursday, April 17, 2003
today? well, if you really must know... (pff)
school was fine. smartypants breakfast. other learning type stuff. burned my finger (very mildly) on a hotplate in chem.
rehearsal was pretty sweet. honestly, im just constantly in awe of the music of that show. its just SO beautiful... stared at Jared too much. feel dumb. so dumb. i have this sick tendency to do that. and it usually comes back to haunt me hardcore.
this is because what i have to say here is a secret: * ** ***** ** ****! ok im done.
went out tonight with my girls. saw chicago again. great movie, love the music. i wanna be a flapper too!!! and i wanna learn how to move like a dummy or a marionette.... ! the best part of the night was getting dressed up. i was bored, so i totally tramped it out... nothing slutty or distasteful, mind you. i wore: sam's neon green chucks, my fishnet knee-highs, this coral-colored pseudo-plaid knee-length skirt, my huge black belt, my pink stretchy shirt with the heart punched out in rivets, and an arm thingy i made out of leftover fishnet-ish stuff from my homecoming dress. i wore some black beady necklaces and i wore THE SCARY MASCARA! and thats always fun. overall, lots of pink and black. it was nice to go have fun and catch up with anna, that little pimpette. poor girl!...
so i got in another fight with ben today. i so hate fighting with him because i just hurt him and it accomplishes nothing. shrug.... throw it all. things will be alright in the morningtime.
might thrift with anna and others tomorrow. too bad i have no money for such things... eek! oh well, ill get easter money this weekend. gah scary financial problems. i might have to fish into the bank account! eeeeep!
music: bengate
Tuesday, April 15, 2003
some mildly humourous quotes from the past few days:
me: "It's not true."
Jill: "It's truer than... what they tell you at DARE!"
me: "What do you have in your box there?"
Sam: "Depression cake. it's chocolate and zoloft."
"So she slams me up against the locker, and im thinking to myself, 'this girl is this big around. i could take her ANY day."
-Mme Irwin
"Now, are these trees carniverous?"
-Rachel Doan, seeking wisdom on Maple trees from Jill
Danny: "I thought it was about gay people."
Aaron: "A Seperate Peace? Where'd you get that?"
Danny: "I don't know. I just thought it was."
Aaron: "It's gay, but..."
ok so that last one isnt actually that funny. but it was really funny at the time.
later days.
music: the cure
Sunday, April 13, 2003
Legolas
Who is your Ideal Lord of the Rings (male) Mate?
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Saturday, April 12, 2003
new template. hope you like. but the archives thing doesnt work... like... at all... im sorry... maybe ill make it work later.laid down my new floor, enfin! its sooo pretty... all checkered black and white. i think it perfects my "pop art palace" : ) mom n dad n jeff helped. it was cool.
went to rojos 18 bday soiree. it was a really enjoyable time. played some pool, and ive decided i really liked the game. i suck, but its cool. i wanna get really good and become a pool shark! i also played some video game where you crashed cars. it was fun. i met a lot of ben and rojo's friends. they were all really nice, although some were weird. but hey... i shouldnt talk. i met this beca ive heard so much about, and her friend sandy. sandy was an absolute doll... she was the cutest... and although i didnt talk to beca too much she seemed really nice. shrug. the highlight of the evening was sitting out in rojo's mushy yard and looking at the stars with robyn. ben smashed his face into the ground... sorta my fault but not really... and then later he brought us candy. and then we gave the wrappers back to him... and then seth dropped them on our faces and we laughed hysterically for no reason. the stars were beautiful. we saw orion (and his belt) and the little dipper...
i also spent time with chriskitty, rojos cat. shes the cutest cat ever and she reminds me of my beloved sadie, may she rest in peace. i wanted to catnap her. she licked my hands a lot.
i had a really good time. but im led to wonder... is that wicked? because two special boys i know spent the evening just analyzing. then they patted themselves on the back for being right. makes sense that they are right, they usually are... but still. it was really annoying. it gave off this air of superiority... but i mean, at least one of those boys is ALWAYS analyzing things. he cant enjoy anything, he just thinks too much. where is the joie de vivre there? and is joie de vivre necessary? am i wrong when i have a nice evening? should i always be in some... other... mode? i have to say i disagree with him. if i behaved like that... at least, as much as he did, i would be perfectly miserable. and while happiness isnt usually paramount, i have trouble believing that my misery would be what God really wanted. maybe im wrong.
i mean, really... ive noticed myself doing it lately. thinking i have everything figured out and im wayyy smarter than my peers. i just screwed myself up a lot... and hopefully learned a little from it. but honestly... although i may know more, i really know nothing. and acting like im some sage isnt going to help me help people. love first. and although a part of loving is that tough love and wisdom, i think more of it is really just reaching into someone's heart. leveling with them, not preaching. i think it all comes down to grace.
theres just too little grace in the world.
wow i sorta went crazy there... but i had to get it out.
music: jeff's vines cd and 80s pop
heart explodingdog.com.
Friday, April 11, 2003
i have lots to say. i warn you, this will be long.
1. Lauren offends the mighty deity emo
So yesterday shannon shows me this quote from sarah ho that said "i wanna be emo. i dont wanna listen to the music, just wear the clothes." apparently when this quote was spoken, the entire emo community (do they have a community or would that be un-emo?) let out a collective shriek of anger and pain, then returned to their quiet crying. anyway, i made the mistake of saying i understood her sentiments. cause emo kids look dang cool. and if you dont like the music, then fine. and, looking back, wearing certain clothes would probably not make you emo. but still. emokidslookcoolandifyoudontlikethemusicthenfine. yeah well when i told shannon this, she told arvind and arvind came to yell at me (so i thought?) and i sorta went off on him and we argued and i think he hates me now...so i wanna take this oppotunity to apologize. Arvind, i was it was a weird night for me last night and i spoke harshly. i apologize for that and i hope we can still be friends. but... i stick to my opinion. people should wear what they like and not be lined up and shot for it. maybe im a hypocrite for saying that, cause i sometimes criticize others for that sort of thing. i make my resolution to stop. and--no scene, whatever it is, is terribly important to me.
2. Sam gets her heart broke
poor sam. matt broke up with her... not too nice. and shes sad now and that makes me sad. i wanna give her a hug and make her feel all better. i would do anything to help her... except hate matt. ive decided i dont hate him... theres really not a reason for me to do so. he didnt hurt me... and although i want to defend sam, i know what its like to be matt. im always the evil one in the breakups... and that doesnt make either of us right, but i know he is probably feeling really hated. and that sucks. so i dont hate him.
3. Lauren and Jill go out
Me and jill are going out tonight. to go see I Hate Hamlet. it will be fun.
4. Rojo comes over to play
Rojo came over last night. it was his birthday. hes 18 now. old boy. i put an candle on an oreo and sang happy birthday for him. i have him his birthday present, a trogdor the burninator teeshirt. he wore it today. then we tried to burn an oreo. they dont burn. they just smolder. then you have to put them out like a cigarette. its funny. the oreo is gone today, i assume our possum ate it.
5. Lauren paints a picture
i worked on the wall yesterday. it now has the chinese symbol for "mother" and a sheep that isnt finished... no eyes yet. but shes still cute. and i got a picture of a fish im gonna use too... its the rainbow fish... like, from the kid's book. im gonna change the colors but use the shape.
6. Lauren finishes her other website
mimus message dot com is up, running, and lookin pretty nice.
7. Lauren listens to music
coldplay and America's "Horse with no name"
8. Lauren says goodbye
Tuesday, April 08, 2003
i feel random:
Quote of the few days:
"I don't think it's even possible for you to be hot."
-Ray
a list of things people call me:
1. Lauren
2. Laur
3. Laur Laur
4. LaurenDavis
5. the always outrageous Lauren Davis
6. Mimu
7. Meems
8. Meem
9. Kid
10. Poodie
im making freedom toast for the fam sometime this week
i have no floor. my tile will go in saturday...hopefully...
my birthday is in less than a month. i feel old. should i have a party? im me. tell me if i should have one. and whether you would come if i did.
music: les mis stuck in my head.
Sunday, April 06, 2003
do i have to tell the story
of a thousand rainy days since we first met?
lets go chronologically:
yesterday: sam came over to play. it was a swell playdate. we made freedom toast. and ate it. and it was delicious. then we started assembling my uber-cool funky new dresser. its finally done as of this afternoon... tough job. but its way cool so its worth it. ANYWAY, i gave sam the teengirlsquad sticker i promised her, and the "island" she wanted from the bahamas. and i made her take Cruel Shoes and read it. [Note to all: READ CRUEL SHOES BY STEVE MARTIN). I hope i get it back someday... it isnt even mine. and its sooo good. the name of this blog is even from cruel shoes. then sam went home. and me and alle went to the chris rice show. it was surprisingly a lot of fun. the guy is really talented, and he knows what hes talking about. I think God was really saying stuff to me through him. it was neato. after we got ice cream at this really cool place where they like, chop it up on a marble slab for you. it was amazing. i eventually slept.
today: excitement in the a.m. we have a new youth director!!! im intensely excited cause its MO! hes so cool and we are already sorta tight... plus he lives right down the street!!! its so exciting for them... it seems to me that it would be a really different lifestyle. ashley freaked out on us... she said she was mad for people judging her... i didnt notice any blaring judgements so im still confused but then i think: i didnt say hi to her when she came in. could i have done something? it makes me worry a little. i guess im sorta glad it happened though. i just have to take it as a lesson and let it make me think.
thinking is an odd thing. its a little scary sometimes. but i guess its one of those things you are supposed to do. so i do it.
time is also odd. i guess in a lot of ways its being revealed to me that its 1. irreversible and 2. not guaranteed to me at all. i mean, honestly, i dont know when im going to die or when Jesus is coming back. i just dont know. and i assume its so far away... and i could be totally wrong. i mean, ive heard many a time that, you know, time is precious, tomorrow isnt guaranteed, etc. but i guess i never much thought about it til now.
c'est tout
snack of choice: bubblegum
music: jars- much afraid
Saturday, April 05, 2003
ps.
i dont understand love at all! whoa!
Friday, April 04, 2003
fine day, i suppose.
1. went to scene shop. miyoung and sam. and then... i fell off the set. and not just like, little "oof" fall. four or five feet. frightening nearly to tears but fortunately not too painful. it was caused partially by: LAUREN"S PERPETUAL DIZZINESS! this medication im on has that nasty side effect. so i think im going to stop taking it. all the time on/in water plus plane travel recently hasn't helped the situation either.
2. sat. ate lots.
3. Rojo called! and come over for smoothies! which turned into this like, what, four or five hour marathon of fun. we had our smoothies, then sat around a bit, then played the pig game (its a great game, i had forgotten). then we played war... i lost... and then blackjack. we played with money from my starwars monopoly game. but rojo soon lost all he had and was forced to bet his cellphone. after a couple tries i won it. and then proceeded to win his car keys, his lucky rubber band, his wallet, and the glasses off his face. it was great. we decided to quit when all he had left to bet was his shoes. (and his clothes, but he wasnt about to take them off. get your mind out of the gutter.) i called ben on my newly-won phone, and it was really rather stupid. i felt dumb. and somewhat guilty. im not entirely sure where that came from (LIE). rojo then stayed for dinner. and then he played ghost recon with daddy (heehee) while i painted.
3. painting. i worked on moms mural. its coming along... or something. i painted a teapot and it sucked, and a star that i dont know to finish, and a daisy that im infatuated with. the best square up there if you ask me. which you didnt. i really hope i finish it in time... i have, wow, like a month? yikes.
playdate with sam tomorrow. i hope she never figures out i just hang out with her cause shes hot.
pff.
music: uhhhh... cheap trick? and the rest of vh1's 100 best hard rock artists.
<-- vh1 junkie.
Thursday, April 03, 2003
nobody said it was easy
its such a shame for us to part
nobody said it was easy
nobody said it would be so hard
hurrah for boring, cliched lyrics. i just happen to be listening to that song right now and the melody is kinda sad. plus i like to be overdramatic and try to relate that to my life. anyone who knows me... or who i whine/play drama queen to... knows what im talking about. and honestly, these days i care less and less about that. i think thats good, it will make things easier. but im afraid im hurting somebody's feelings.
im back from the grand spring break trip to the BAHAMAS. it was pretty shiny. to summarize the trip:
-sunday: travel. beach. adjusting to the pace where nobody moves.
-monday: it should NOT be this cold in the bahamas! drive around. watch tv. beat EVERYONE at rack-o and pass the pigs. oh yess, i am the board game queen.
-tuesday: i think a cold day in the bahamas is very similar to a frozen-over hell. semi-sub boat... look at the fishies! what pretty fishies... the kind you only see on the discovery channel and in aquariums that you dont imagine really exist in the wild. tan with no sun.
-wednesday: yay! sun! parasail. snorkel... such pretty fishies! scary coral though. ben says im scared of a lot of things, but no, just coral. i think. tan tan tan. beach with grammy. tons of fun.
-thursday: brekkie. tan. car. plane. plane. car. home.
TA DA!
i brought home some fun stuff. a necklace and a sarong (quick whats a sarong?). it was fun. grammy and granpa took us... no parents. sorta nice, sorta weird. they were like, um, do whatever you want! but i just didnt know how... so i didnt. and that was fine. oh... and i got some braids in my hair : )
things are sorta weird. but sorta not really. time is moving so fast!
music: COLDPLAY!
. Adam .
. Alex .
. Amy .
. Andrea .
. Arvind .
. Cynthia .
. Daria .
. Kevin .
. Maggie .
. Michelle .
. Mike .
. Miyoung .
. Mukul .
. Sam .
. Sanjana .
. Shannon .
. Xin .
I look at:
. Cat and Girl .
. Scary Go Round .
. Toothpaste for Dinner .
. Natalie Dee .
. Questionable Content .
. Diesel Sweeties .
. Sinfest .
. Exploding Dog .
. Homestar Runner .
. My other blog, Mimu's Message.com .
. My livejournal (im such a hipster slut, i know) .
Email me
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