the boring leading the bored
Monday, December 29, 2003
i have a buttload of energy and nothing to do
it's making me completely crazy. luckily rojo is coming over to rescue me... we are going to watch a movie and it should be silly fun.
today: not that cool. it was a nasty grey monday and i went shopping--not in a good way. it was the most evil time i've had shopping since last summer when i was shopping for swimsuits. anyway, after that i came home and worked on my project a while. and then i was starting to lose it so i went up to my room and finished my second andy warhol book.
speaking of, dad told me where we are going on the secret trip: Pittsburgh. Sounds cool enough. I've never been. but they do have the andy warhol museum there and we are going to do that. i'm excited.
anyway, finished the book and ate good n plentys (mmm) and then made my bed--which is something i never do. then i ate dinner and watched some pointless tv and fidgeted.
crap i forgot to call ben again today. i guess tomorrow. or maybe we'll just never be friends again.
music: josh groban. i still need to learn to speak italian. i'm picking up some of the pronunciation from singing along to the songs but still. STILL. and i discovered that Josh co-wrote a couple songs on the album, which is cool. they are good songs, too. well mainly just the one that he did the words and some of the music to. anyway i'll shut up.
damn boys and my wanting one.
its late. i'm listening to the mars volta with shannon and perusing tmv-related sites.
people call themselves "emo kids" or "hardcore kids" sometimes.
i think i'm just a kid.
music: guess.
i need to wash my face.
L Love is something you deeply believe in.
a You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
u You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
r You are a social butterfly.
e You are a very exciting person.
n You like to work, but you always want a break.
D You have trouble trusting people.
a You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
v You have a very good physical and looks.
i You are always smiling & making others smile.
s You are very broad-minded.
A You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B You are always cautious when it comes to meeting new people.
C You definitely have a partier side in you, dont be shy to show it.
D You have trouble trusting people.
E You are a very exciting person.
F Everyone loves you.
G You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H You are not judgemental.
I You are always smiling & making others smile.
J Jealousy.
K You like to try new things.
L Love is something you deeply believe in.
M Success comes easily to you.
N You like to work, but you always want a break.
O You are very open-minded.
P You are very friendly and understanding.
Q You are a hypocrite.
R You are a social butterfly.
S You are very broad-minded.
T You have an attitude, a big one.
U You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V You have a very good physical and looks.
W You like your privacy .
X You never let people tell you what to do.
Y You cause a lot of trouble.
Z You're always fighting with someone
that was fun. thanks miyoung/sunny! here's my thoughts.
L i dunno how i feel about love anymore.
a true.
u true.
r maybe sometimes. in my dad's words, i am an introverted extrovert.
e i think im a snooze. maybe im just being modest but... im not. n true... i dont ALWAYS want a break though. sometimes i overwork myself.
D eh... not really. no.
a true. again.
v why thank you! despite the broken english this is flattering!
i i hate my smile. a lot.
s ok... maybe? sometimes im really not.
again--that was fun. today was alright. except that i wasnt feeling well so i slept all day and this morning i was really hostile to ben for no real reason and i meant to call and apologize but i never got a hold of him. i need to apologize... i dont know why i was so mean! i just... was. my dad said it was a defense mechanism and he's probably right. this is so difficult. im really confused. i don't know what to do.
anyway... uhm... going shopping tomorrow, that should be good. and working on my project, im sure. screw this english paper, i simply refuse to work on it. my creative writing project is a mite more tolerable though so i'll take it. whatever. i really dont want to go back to school. its meaningless. seems like lots of things are fairly meaningless. like college or a career or marriage.
call me jaded.
i dont know what to do with my future. ive actually been considering working with my hands recently. being a mechanic or something. its just a whim, most likely, but im willing to think about anything. with any luck i'll actually manage to marry rich (arjun?!?!) and just live off the guy's money and do nothing. or do lots of things. i'm having doubts about this whole "marrying for love" things. i think im rather incapable of being in a successful, loving marriage (lets not discuss raising children) just by my nature. maybe that's okay at this age. but it makes me kinda sad, too.
i am all a lost generation.
music: josh groban's new album, fleetwood mac
ps. this is dedicated to frank. just because. i wanna be with him everywhere. hope your aunt does ok, frank.
Friday, December 26, 2003
happy xmas
so right now i have my two year old cousin sitting on my lap and we are listening to Babaloo and headbanging. it's awesome. his name is Louis. cute kid.
anyway, merry christmas to all who celebrate it. mine's been excellent. i'm in cincinnati, and have been since xmas day. i spent the night of christmas eve with my aunt at her house and i helped her do the santa thing for Louis and John, who is five. they got lots of toys and it was a lot of fun. i had recieved presents the previous day from my family cause we always do that. anyway, we then went to my grandma (mom's side) for christmas festivities. ate some good danish and did presents, and in the afternoon we went to my other grandma's house. that was pretty enjoyable. the only drawback was that my two other cousins, Alex and Aaron (6 and 3) were INSANE. Alex is especially bad. i just wanna shoot him with a horse tranquelizer so he'll calm down. He screams and runs around... and he jumps on me. He crawls all over me... it kinda freaks me out. But hey, he's family. It was good to see everyone, all in all.
now for the good part: PRESENT HIGHLIGHTS
-mp3 player
-itune gift certificate (a big one)
-new chucks. hi tops, pink and black.
-carol published my mimu's messages in a book! its CRAZY! sure its just cafepress but im still excited about it. buy one! i'll get a very very small profit!
-a couple books on Andy Warhol
-a cuuute sweatshirt
-a book on American Posters (i really need a coffee table with how many excellent coffee table books i have)
-a scarf
-several pairs of good gloves
-some headbands
-a leather makeup bag with an L on it. its so nice... im so not used to having nice things!!!
-tons of AWESOME stocking stuffer type things.
anyway, it turned out to be a great christmas because of material possessions.
we should go out for coffee. i got a starbucks card.
music: this song called "send me on my way" that i really like. dont know who its by though.
Monday, December 22, 2003
i'm bored and i thought this was cool
Instructions:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that you have in common with me.
3. Whatever you don't bold, replace with things about you.
01. I am an asshole.
02. I'm disappointed when I go to read my friends' page and there aren't any new entries.
03. I think people who TyPe LiEk DiS are annoying.
04. I drink a lot of water. when i don't drink water, i get sick.
05. I don't know what the hell greatjournal is... but i assume its not that cool
06. i woke up at 12:22 today. a friend came over at 1.
07. i think black and white are the most interesting color combination ever
08. I also hate people who TypE LyKe D1s.
09. my lip is cut and slightly swollen
10. I want more cds.
11. i need some kool-aid
12. I hate when slow people walk in front of me
13. as much as i fear driving, im getting tired of not being able to do it.
14. i usually dont match. sometimes its on purpose.
15. i got a christmas present today.
16. I'm fairly unsure whether i have ever been on a real date-date. i've come close.
17. I am lazy.
18. but also type A
19. i keep forgetting how close christmas is.
20. I stay in the shower so long my skin melts.
21. my skin also melts because i like my showers at the hotness level of "nearly scalding"
22. i do christmas a day early so i can be with extended family on christmas day.
23. Spring > seasons
24. I want to rearrange my body. or at least tweak some proportions
25. I HATE being late. but im late rather frequently.
27. i have bizarre taste in music.
28. my cat died in august.
29. I like taking pictures of stuff.
30. My hands are ripped to pieces.
31. I wish I could paint.
32. I don't like writing with pencils.
33. i am not a boy
34. I lack BOOTS.
35. i really like snow, especially waking up to a snowy day where the light that comes in through my blinds is all bright...
36. I'm so(metimes) stubborn
37. im excited that i have a button i can press to bold these things instead of actually typing out the tags
38. I love going out to eat. (at nice restaurants)
39. i wish i could sing well.
40. I love my chapstick, I need it
41. i'm a tightwad, but i occasionally get impulsive and buy something i don't need, then i get mad.
42. I've never had beer.
43. I hate reality shows.
44. i like techno
45. i think i dont have much going for me as a person
46. i remember the spice girls with a bizarre nostalgia.
47. Hanson was a scary time in everyones life.
48. I love reading.
49. i spend too much time online and too little time reading
50. i actually dont procrastinate all that much
51. I like silence at times.
52. I get very jealous.
53. i used to live across the street from where i live now
54. I miss a lot of old cartoons.
55. I love the cold side of the pillow.
56. My middle name is Michelle
57. I tend (and try) not to hate people
58. I dont like my voice
59. I get very fed up with weak male figures.
60. I love to shop
61. One day, I will wear slippers to school
62. I really hate crying when other people are around
63. I don't have a job.
64. I lack cacti in the pants.
65. I remember my dreams. And they haunt me.
66. The one thing i buy with my own money more than anything else (except maybe food) is cds.
67. August is the most eventful month of my year. consistently.
68. I hate when my nose is runny.
69. My mom reads my blog. hi mom.
70. I WILL wear dressy shoes while wearing casual clothes.
71. I get bored watching mindless shows like PUNK'D
72. I hate having my picture taken.
73. I want to play more music...
74. I bought some lactose-free milk today and i am super-excited to drink it.
75. Although i have rather poor body image, i dont think i let it affect my self-esteem.
77. I want to leave to Europe or Canada
78. I am one of the only people i know who dont detest living here and blame their boring life upon it. I will still be me wherever i am so i dont think it makes that much of a difference if i'm here.
79. Beaches bore me. I prefer rivers, or streets with lots of boutiques.
80. I really miss ice cream.
81. I thrive on excitement.
82. I want to live in the city.
83. However, I wouldn't mind living in a small town
84. I love to travel.
85. I have a hot tub on my deck
86. I cook, but so in(su)fficiently.
87. I showered about 10 hours ago
88. I'm not so bored.
89. I want to paint my nails, but im too lazy to bother with it
90. I hate feeling lonely.
91. Making others happy gives a very nice feeling.
96. I need to be needed, I need to be liked.
97. I need to shower.
98. I really need to go running
99. I don't believe that video actually killed the radio star.
100. I love the dark.
well that was fun. i'd love to see it on your journal/blog/xanga.
music: the mars volta. i love you shannon.
today was fairly uneventful. slept in real late, rojo came over, we went shopping, then i went shopping with mom. i've been trying to work on my book project for creative writing but it hasnt really been happening. i do have an awesome cover for it but that's it. i guess i just need to keep thinking about what i want it to be like.
i think i'll go read or something.
music: cream's "white room" (what a great song)
reading: flappers and philosophers.
drinking: white cranberry-strawberry juice. ive had three glasses. its wonderful stuff.
ps. welcome cynthia to the family (links list-->)
is stella. if you observe just above this post, you will see a beautiful graphic featuring a car, which stella helped to recover from the depths of the internet or something (now you see why i needed stella's help). anyway, stella is amazing for doing this for me. go patronize her site (its in the link list) and say nice things about her.
in other news, saw ben today. i would talk about it, but for one i think he reads this and that would make me feel weird, and two, its hard to describe and i dont think anyone really understands. its just a really weird thing. and not like eating goldfish tickly weird. i wanna talk about it, but i can't.
i spent most of my day cleaning. i did my room and the computer desk and the bathrooms and my parents cars. i made twenty bucks on the car--meaning im back in business--i have money and i can go out! yay! but i dunno if i'll have time for any shenanigans of that nature with these two projects i have over break... theres really not that much time what with christmas and all. plus my dad is apparently planning another secret vacation... (last year i was gone on new years eve on a secret vacation) and that should be interesting. im not keen on the idea tonight, but that's probably just because im in a bad mood. everybody knows i love to get out and get around and travel even if its with my family so if we go im sure it will rock.
im excited for christmas.
music: haligh. plus i listened to cd101 while cleaning the cars all day.
This weight will
now be satisfied
Saturday, December 20, 2003
im officially PISSED
i just wrote a HUGE entry and it deleted itself.
KILLKILL.
music: all the bands that played last night.
the picture at the top wont work!
killkill.
music: chevelle. its jeff's. i hate it.
Friday, December 19, 2003
am i just blogging because im bored?
yes. yes i am. so today was pretty cool so far: played some monopoly, gave and received presents for xmas. thank you to everyone who got me nice things... and those who didnt. lol. really though, everyone got me cool type things and i am much thankful. everyone seemed to like what i gave them... the buckeyes were a hit. but the weird thing was, almost everyone i gave them to ate all of them right away. it puzzled me. perhaps its a guy thing. im just glad i dont have to carry that bag around anymore.
basement show tonight. should be cool if my parents let me go... theyre a little freaked out i think but i think they should trust me to take care of myself. i doubt there will be any problems or anything anyway. after basement show i will be rocking the middle school overnighter. as a chaperone type person. heehee. i think andrew will be there! which is AMAZING because i haven't seen him in like four years. he probably doesn't remember me, lol. it should be a good time. and i will get like, no sleep, and im totally down with that.
this should be an interesting break.
i have projects to do.
music: crappy stuff on my internet radio.
reading: flappers and philosophers. just finished "The Ice Palace". its so strange and sad...
watching: baz's romeo+juliet. my gosh. what an amazing movie. im not ACTUALLY watching it but i saw about a minute of it the other day, plus andrea and i are discussing it.
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
oh. my.
i will say only one thing:
i wept like a little girl.
music: david bowie/freddie mercury's under pressure
"sam, i'm glad you're with me, at the end of all things."
today was an extra-special day with lots of fun. it was club picture day, which was great because everybody got to miss some class. i had five pictures, four of which i actually attended. math team was fun because i was surrounded by brown kids, but the number one by far was oracle. we all looked off to the side. it was great. mob weirdness has to be one of my favorite things ever.
that is why i am loving the masks everyone is wearing. they are so cool. i like marc's especially because of its vague writing on it. super fun fun.
it feels like a friday, but its not, which means i have homework that i need to do. and im not doing it. i have approximately 30 math problems to do tonight so i should be doing that... but i'm not. speaking of friday, i don't know exactly what to do on friday. basement show at arvind's? i want to go but lots of people say not to. middle school all niter? also want to go to that... shrug... maybe i'll just go with dad to his shift and then stay the rest of the night. i'll just think about it more i suppose.
i am super excited to start giving xmas presents tomorrow. i dont know what to give out and what to save for friday. i know we are doing french class presents tomorrow. cynthia and amanda are going to like their presents hopefully. i am scared for what they are getting me... i dont know what it is! and they always talk about it! scary...
i am about to pee myself in excitement over lotr. i will be THERE, WATCHING IT in only two hours. TWO HOURS! eeee! sooo excited.
anyway, time to do hw and shake with excitement.
music: denison marrs
reading: flappers and philosophers by f. scott fitzgerald. it's definitely one of my favorite collections of short stories EVER. EVER. i've only gotten through the offshore pirate (a favorite) so far this reading. ive read the book like five times though. i also want to start reading the dark tower series soon. josh suggested it and said i'd like it and hopefully he's right.
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
dans ta face.
i am done with christmas presents. done. finished. i did the last buyings and makings tonight and im ready to go. can't wait to give presents!!! i like christmas a lot. finished my girl presents and made my boy presents and did alle's and wrapped it and found sam a bargain present that i couldnt pass up... and now i have only a few dollars to my name. rock and roll.
daddy got tickets!!! tomorrow at five i will be at the lennox theatre twitching and sweating with excitement and watching LOTRTROTK! (if you have to ask what that means, you'll never know). im so excited. and i get to carry on the tradition of seeing it with dad and jeff and mom. im SO excited. this week is gonna be just fun all around with christmas presents and lotr and... i get to dress up as william du bois...
well apparently its time for me to go sleep. even though i don't want to.
music: All This and World War II. what an amazing album. and they don't make it anymore! but tell me, for the love of pete tell me, if the world doesn't need a special two-disc compilation of covers of the greatest late beatles songs by assorted seventies artists? honestly. and i'd love to see the film to which it is the soundtrack, but it doesn't really exist anymore. it never made it to video because it was made in the 70s and, from what i understand, it was a very artsy film: it was assorted film footage of world war II with the soundtrack of beatles songs running over it. the highlights of the disk are Elton John's "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds," Helen Reddy's "The Fool on the Hill" and of course "Polythene Pam"
she'sthekindofagirlwhomakesthenewsoftheworld
Monday, December 15, 2003
top ten reasons i hate winter
note: i dont totally hate winter. there are some good things. but these are the bad ones.
10. it's cold. its just really really cold and it's not comfortable.
9. with the cold, i lose circulation in my digits a lot. they turn yellow. it's scary.
8. it's a pain to go running. literally. it hurts to breathe in that cold air.
7. there's not much sun. i like the sun. i miss it.
6. dry skin.
5. my lips get chapped. and i just ran out of my strawberry chapstick from jamba juice.
4. limited wardrobe. i only have so many sweaters, and i like to keep warm so i don't wear much else.
3. the slush/salt combination that seeps up into my pants and shoes and makes them freezy cold-wet plus dirty
2. static. i get sooo staticky in the winter... i sometimes wonder whether i could die of static electrocution.
1. zimmers.
who would try to do away with snow days? that's silly.
anyway, only four more days (or 28 more classes) until, as Rachel called it, "a two-week weekend!" and that will rock. xmas presents are getting there. i wrapped mom and dad's today. i just have to buy a few more things. and then there are those people who i sorta, well... forgot. and dont have enough money to "remember". its real real bad.
the ymca thing went really well. cute kids. nice folks. they were so grateful... it was rather humbling. xmas party after was fun, too. i mostly sat on the kitchen counter and watched and listened while Alle and Alex (!) played/jammed. seth hung out with us in there too... he kept setting the oven timer and insisted on talking about rush and cream alll the time. he was so fixated, it was funny. i like seth--he's a good guy.
lotr wednesday. that's in two days. i dont know whether i'm gonna be able to go the first day!!! i bet its already sold out most places plus i dont know who to go with... i kinda want to go see it with my dad because that's tradition and all, but i also told alle i'd see it with her, and shannon and the kids were going to go see it too... whew. i'm honestly a little sad that it's almost out and that i will see it because then it will be over! no more lord of the rings! that's so sad... they're such good movies. i still haven't finished watching the extended two towers.
on an unrelated note:
i can't take it anymore. i'm going completely out of my mind with anger and frustration. this isn't fair, and it isn't the way things are supposed to be but it's the way they are and that frustrates me even more. being all passive-agressive i want to lash out so bad. there are a million things i could say, a million ways to make you see how i feel, and burn it into your mind so you'll never forget and you will feel the pain that i feel... but i can't. whether its just common decency or something more i just can't. and even while i am hurt and angry... i have softer feelings too. and i am full of an anxiety... time is running out. i dont know what to do. i don't know how to feel. i dont know what's going to happen. i wish i could express myself more clearly but i can't.... i think. i'm dreadfully confused.
music: new josh groban. boy do i like josh groban.... must learn to speak italian...
reading: just finished huck finn
Saturday, December 13, 2003
ooh! plus
1. its good to have jeans that are comfortable enough to sleep in
2. fotolog update action.
music: velvet underground
christmas is coming! i went shopping today/yesterday (its past midnight now). i'm getting closer to getting my shopping done. family's all done, that's good. i mostly just need to do lots of making. that could prove tricky... i am lazy. anyway shopping was excellent. i went with jill. we got presents for each other. i got her a pink roxy lanyard and this cute necklace. she got me a sweater and some little bobby pins with bows on them and this plaid flower pin. she's awesome. she had dinner with us too (filet. mmm. i could NEVER go vegetarian) and hung around a while after that. we wrapped presents. i am getting really excited for christmas. really excited. i got everybody such cool things.
this week is over and i am pleased. it was a long one. today was a decent day, although accordingly lengthy. i had a quiz and a "poetry explication," but it was also croissant day. and that was definitely awesome.
watched two more episodes of 24 with dad tonight. only 12 more hours to go! in this season! this is a serious undertaking.
i'm going to the ymca tomorrow with my youth group to do this christmas dinner for homeless families. i'm in charge of games. i haven't really thought much about it. i'm so screwed. oh well... it should still be... okay i guess... (mmm apprehension).
i know there was stuff i wanted to write about. i just can't remember any of it.
crap, i should be reading huck finn right now. fiddlesticks.
music: blue man group, the cure, other stuff
ps. please welcome sanjana to the "friends" link list. her blog, which i confess i have only been reading for a few days, is pretty quality. plus i just like to pack this sucker full of whatever i can dig up.
Thursday, December 11, 2003
how high a ridge i could not tell...
today was not sucky. i'm pleased about that. i'm surprised too, considering i got a terrible night's sleep last night--i had to sleep with my head on wadded-up blankets at the foot of my bed because the pillows just weren't inducing sleep. my dad suggested i try a tylenol pm tonight... i'd have to take it soon. i'm skeptical. my dad always says how when he takes them he CANT get up in the morning and that's my problem to begin with. maybe i'll try it. a little more tylenol can't hurt anyway...
ate one of the truffles that karla gave me. it was a good one--fortunately not the earl gray tea one. it was just plain chocolate, but i think it was dark chocolate and it was so rich and yummy. it made doing the thoreau assignment from last month so much more pleasing. speaking of which, i finished that thoreau assignment. it was less impossible than i originally thought. but then i did just bs a lot of it.
new candle. sara gave it to me for my birthday and it smells yummy and fresh, like flowers or the ocean or something. it's blue. it's a square and i like pouring the wax on my fingers.
christmas shopping is finally starting to come along. went to the container store and got some necessary supplies. just have to get going with the making parts of some stuff. i'm less freaked out about it now. i'm less freaked out in general. big thank you to karla who talked to me for a long time and made me feel better.
still though, i am haunted by some thoughts. you see, there's this guy...
omg been watching the two towers extended cut director magic version... its soooo enjoyable. the extra stuff is GOLD. it explains things so much better. and if you have it/rent it, there is some absolute must-not-miss material. on the first disc, go to the scene selection menu. scroll alllllll the way down, and once you hit the last scene scroll down once more and a little gold ring will appear. hit play. if you watched the mtv movie awards last year i doubt you'll be that amused but i had never seen it.... gollum/smeagol gets the "best computer animated performance" award... and gollum goes NUTS. it is sooooo excellent. he's like, f*** mtv, f*** peter jackson, you're all BASTARDS! omg i cant describe how funny it is. i laughed hysterically.
anyway, aragorn, i owe you an apology because i thought you were a huge jerk for flirting unabashedly with eowyn, but now i realize that you and arwen broke up so you are less of a jerk. i still think you two shouldn't have broken up, but i guess you were just trying to protect her. still though, what are you doing with eowyn if you are still having dreams about arwen!?!!? huh!??! your life, though.
ps. this is not allegory. i swear.--seriously!
well i should go take some tylenol pm and shower and things. <3.
music: everything. mimu mix 1 and 2 and "music."
because its a good song:
do you know the red planet?
do you know yourself?
do you know the red planet?
do you know me?
ps. although i do pine for you endlessly, arvind, i trust that we can both be adult about it and assume i just like these lyrics.
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
vrrrrrrrrooooom!
french club party tonight, that was pretty cool.
why does my picture at the top always crap out on me?
i should be doing homework. but i no longer have any motivation... i just dont care anymore.
anyway, the moral of the story is:
KILLKILL
music: "a night like this"
i'm coming to find you if it takes me all night
cant stand here like this anymore
Monday, December 08, 2003
a real entry?
"you should keep writing," he said. "it's your outlet. it will help you. if you have questions, write about it. if you're upset, write about it."
so this thing is a new good friend. except its not new.
today did not feel like others. i felt better. it was good to talk last night. it is a weight off of me now but feeling too light is about half as scary as feeling too weighed down. i have a compulsion to worry, and when im not worrying i dont feel right. i feel irresponsible. but then i always feel a need to embrace that irresponsibility... i dont understand myself!!! and that's one of my big problems i guess.
of course i have a scapegoat. i always do, that's one thing i do know about myself. so inside myself i lash out and cast blame... what an angry girl i can be...
why do i have to hide?
do i have to hide?
i don't understand.
music: the cure
my two best computer graphics friends.
POSS!
music: abbey road, the cure
Sunday, December 07, 2003
i got the emily dickinson blues
poem 341, 3rd stanza. i thought this was amazing.
This is the Hour of Lead--
Remembered, if outlived,
As Freezing persons, recollect the Snow--
First--Chill--then Stupor--then the letting go--
oh man, pompom.
music: the smiths
Saturday, December 06, 2003
i was looking at pictures
of the pasta party show and remembering it. everyone but the band, gabe, shannon and me had left and we were just hanging around listening to bright eyes. shannon and i were slouched on the couch next to each other. suddenly arvind looks over and says "wow that's the most emo thing ever... you two sitting there, shannon's looking depressed and Lauren's singing Haligh!"
I will give you only one reply, I know not who I am
but I talk in the mirror to the stranger that appears.
Our conversations are circles
and always one sided,
nothing is clear.
Except we keep coming back to this meaning that I lack.
He says the choices were given and now I must live them
or just not live, but do you want that?
music: elliot smith, other stuff
Friday, December 05, 2003
because this song came on and i love it
i decided to only do excerpts because its so repetitive. so here we go.
...
If you're wondering why
When all I wanted from life was to be Famous
I have tried for so long, it's all gone wrong
I'll tell you why
...
But you wouldn't believe me
You just haven't earned it yet, baby
You just haven't earned it, son
You just haven't earned it yet, baby
You must suffer and cry for a longer time
You just haven't earned it yet, Baby
And I'm telling you now
I'll tell you why
I'll tell you why
Today I am remembering the time
When they pulled me back
And held me down
And looked me in the eyes and said
You just haven't earned it yet, baby
You just haven't earned it, my son
You just haven't earned it yet, baby
You must stay on your own for slightly longer
...
what a good song.
read "An Antropologist on Mars." do it.
anyway, I had grey shoes. they were reeboks. lots of people called them old people shoes and Gina's grandma actually had them but i loved them. they were so comfortable and old-school... and comfortable. i wore them almost every day. they were like, a part of me. well... i lost them. and i haven't seen them since. and it still makes me sad... i loved those shoes. i miss them! why should i have to lose them? daria still has hers, and so does kylie, but not me. and i've never seen them anywhere since, either. i really wish i could get those shoes back.
and that was just shoes. i'm very likely going to die.
music: dont fear the reaper. four out of four counsel members agree: that song was the peak of blue oyster cult's career.
reading: dickinson and t.s. eliot.
Monday, December 01, 2003
today i feel...
empowered. and that is an unbelievably awesome feeling. it's the best i've felt in a while. i feel free. i feel confident. i am okay.
reading: CS Lewis's Mere Christianity
music: pff. the cure. can't get enough of "the lovecats" and "the hanging garden"
in the hanging garden
wearing furs and masks
. Adam .
. Alex .
. Amy .
. Andrea .
. Arvind .
. Cynthia .
. Daria .
. Kevin .
. Maggie .
. Michelle .
. Mike .
. Miyoung .
. Mukul .
. Sam .
. Sanjana .
. Shannon .
. Xin .
I look at:
. Cat and Girl .
. Scary Go Round .
. Toothpaste for Dinner .
. Natalie Dee .
. Questionable Content .
. Diesel Sweeties .
. Sinfest .
. Exploding Dog .
. Homestar Runner .
. My other blog, Mimu's Message.com .
. My livejournal (im such a hipster slut, i know) .
Email me
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