the boring leading the bored
Sunday, February 29, 2004
too excited NOT to post
omg play with frank tomorrow! so excited! and fleetwood mac in the car!!!!
omg sweet.
music: aladdin sane
Saturday, February 28, 2004
beepbeep beepbeep yeah
so today i drove. for the first time in forever. it was actually kinda sweet. i drove on real roads... peach would be proud of my skills. i drove twice. incidentally, i went to starbucks both times. mmmocha.
slumber party was decent. for some reason i was feeling super unsociable. i got the old "what's wrong/you look sad" thing again. its funny to me, every single time. because very rarely am i actually sad when they say that. i just have sad eyes or something i guess. bri's friend erin said that i looked like a porcelain doll. she cited my complexion, my hair and my vacant gaze. i was flattered, mostly. but that was funny to me, too. you know, maybe i felt unsociable because people kept unloading the drama of their crazy complicated/depressing lives. i felt horrible, and i knew that it was good for people to get stuff off their chests, but i was just kind of thinking that i dont want people's drama. seriously, more than half the people had really morose stories to tell. i felt lucky, but also kind of creeped out. i wasnt as... open, i guess. my most emphatic comment was about Paris Hilton.
"So who are the big icons in the media right now?" (we were talking about media pressures on women)
"Britney Spears....[assorted chatter]"
"Okay, who else?"
"PARIS HILTON!!!! i loooove Paris. she is my FAVORITE media gadfly." <-- me.
i just didnt feel like i could relate to everyone else. it made me feel sad, and also really snobbish. but i did paint my nails barbie pink and girl talk a little. so it worked out well enough.
family came up today. i tried to make my very small cousin my photo project but i am fairly sure that all my pictures sucked major. we ate lots of good food, though. so, you know. its all good. and as far as the photo project goes, i think i will reshoot it. im going to call captain betty tomorrow and ask her if i can come hang out and take pictures.
i feel sad tonight.
music: elliot smith. cause i feel sad.
Friday, February 27, 2004
and everyone turned over/troubled in their dreams again
-the cure, "the walk". yeah, i went for a walk today. by my lonesome. just me and my sling bag full of books. it was so nice out... i ran into arjun, who luckily didnt run me over in his car.
he has new grey shoes.
i went to the park. i sat on a slide. the sun was warm, though there was a cool breeze, and i read some the sound and the fury. some people walked by, and a little kid played on the playground for a while.
i went home.
it was pretty nice, really.
this weekend should be decent.
tonight: slumber party with church girls. whee!
tomorrow: family visiting
sunday: school play with frank
that's right, im going to bexley!! whee! man i love bexley. love it. and i'll get to hang out with good old frank. im totally girlfriend backup, too. he asked me cause kristen (said gf) cant go. which should offend me, but doesnt. it should be awesome. and its in bexley.
and frank also taught me something new
,|..|
get it? its the "rock" sign. you know, with the hands?
so neat.
music: stuff. the police, belle and sebastian, the cure.
ps.
rocko's modern life OWNS
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
"what the heck is that girl so pissed about?"
answer: nothing, really. just pissed because its more exciting than just sitting here.
i really ought to be writing. real writing. journal writing. not just on here. the thing is, this is supposed to be a journal, but i very obviously can't actually speak my mind because OTHER PEOPLE READ IT! and i have secrets. true i can count them on one hand. but still.
math test went okay. watched about three hours of the ben stiller show today.<3 boysam for loaning it to me. its kind of corny. and its wicked scary to see early 90s. but its decent.
anyway, the highlight of my day:
scene: c pod stairwell. mr. schafer is running drills on the stair with his football players. he is yelling at them to work harder.
me: schafe, you're a nazi.
mr. schafer: yeah? well you're a maniac.
music: kill hannah, "kennedy"
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
naps
what a brilliant idea. the nap is why i am awake right now. having fun.
to all my compatriots who have recently acquired livejournals, i'll link you soon. honest.
stay up late. its better.
music: french music.
and im excited cause my mp3 player is all fixied and full of fun.
mmm.
Monday, February 23, 2004
i forgot
andrea gave me a really neat thank you note that said "Hot tramp, I love you so" and it made me happy.
and... aaron wasnt at lunch so we didnt have anyone to blame the horrible comments on.
and... i think that's it?
music: belle and sebastian still.
today sucked.
i felt really blah all day. then blah turned into sheer panic and terror when i started my math test and realized i had no clue what the heck i was doing. i gave the test back to mrs. buchholtz and she berated me. so i went and sat down and felt super guilty for not studying. to make myself feel better i was reading the book of stuff by Rimbaud that <3 Mr Hayward <3 gave me this morning. of course, i got caught and yelled at in front of the whole class. rock.
i have been fairly despondent since.
oracle was alright. the car ride home was less fun because mom was a little irritated at me about being a bad student. i just dont care anymore, honestly. i have to try really really hard to care. and i just dont want to. i still have to make up that freaking test... ugh.
the high point of my whole day i think was going over to sam's and watching old film festival movies. i FINALLY saw the full version of Travis Jackson's movie from my freshman year. its sooooo great. so great. and it has travis in it. heehee. we also skimmed the tape sam had of dog show... it was really bad. like, the acting was good, but the script was just SO BORING. then i went home and did homework whee.
i am so not happy. i even burned a sheet of paper with all the stuff i was freaking out about on it. it just made my room smell like burning.
at least there's a new c & g today. make my day, buy me the space mice shirt.
and bowie tickets.
music: belle and sebastian. "simple things".
Sunday, February 22, 2004
die, project. die.
i finally finished my horrible english project, after incorrectly assembling it two times. i made a children's book based on the great gatsby, kind of off the "little miss/mister men" form. its cute. it was hellish to make, though... up til 3 in the morning doing the illustrations, which i did with cut-paper. im just glad its done.
the highlight of this evening has been the ultra-lame lj fight in shan's journal. apparently i should "get aids." rock.
now for the fun.
SWEETHEARTS!!!
ooh what fun. i went with marc. who is very tall. VERY TALL. it was a good time though. we went to house of japan for dinner... the food was GREAT. our chef was funny. we totally had to sit at a table with these two other people... they were nice. the chef was asking us if we were two different groups, and the couple was like, "no, these are all our kids." it was only REALLY funny because we were four brown kids, a black kid... and me. i would have made sense. maybe. except they were too young to have had me.
after that we went to the dance... by that time it was already like, 9 30 though. the dance was cool, i suppose. everyone looked really great, of course. we danced, we carried on, alex won court but arjun didnt and we were sad.
hows come whenever anything really interesting and fun happens i dont particularly feel like talking about it?
anyway, after, we went to anil's and played bs. and everyone lost, i think. except bhakti. she was really nice, i had never really met her before. anil's date was really sweet too. except anil and arjun matched each other's dates. but me and marc matched. yay. i wore my prom dress from last year... wore the straps off the shoulder this time. mrs. lenahan put them back up for me and told me to behave... heehee. i wore a flower in my hair. and cuuuuute rocketdog shoes. that cut off my circulation. i figured out this morning how to wear them right... rock.
shame we all smelled like fish. heeheehee.
all done.
music: my itunes, A different city- Ziggy stardust
yay for buying the britney spears song.
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
the day that didnt suck completely
i knew today didnt suck completely because i was surprised when the bell rung at the end of my seventh period precalc class. normally i am praying to the gods of time, asking them if a blood offering would make the class end. but not today. today i was like, whoa its over!
today also didnt suck because marc tried to steal my precious tenchi, and in the process gave me a hug. i tricked him! hahaha, Lauren, you are so clever.
i also did my photo project today, which also didnt suck. much. i took some sorta cool pictures. and some less cool pictures. and brandon yelled at me out the window, and i trespassed a lot, and somebody threw a fast-food cup at me, and i took a picture of sam's shoe (and sam) and made kids ride bikes for me. i like taking pictures. im fearful that i suck at it though.
music: aladdin sane. and fleetwood mac (yeah frank)
Monday, February 16, 2004
screaming
i am the night skulker of my home!
i am not in good taste!
i am a remnant of the decade of my birth!
i am the girl of post it notes and props!
i am the sponge of my culture and the chameleon of my spheres!
i am completely ridiculous.
i am confused.
go to bed.
ou sont les neigedens d'antan?
music: tears for fears
i was going to write this in fake-hemingway style... short declarative prose. but it just isn't happening. today something happened, but i hardly remember. went to lunch with alle, that was really good. we talked a lot and it made me feel less crazy. it made me not mad at one person anymore... only one person. and i discovered tonight she's writing a song for me sort of. its pretty good. her lyrics are like, dead on. its amazing. its like she's inside my head digging around through all the rot.
why am i listening to linkin park? they are so yucky. but no, jeff must have this song that i think rojo told me he really liked so im listening to it. ironically, i SWEAR.......
thats better. david bowie. i should shut up about him.
my feet are cold. shouldnt have taken off my socks. oh well.
i feel lonely tonight. which is kind of silly, cause i am not in a very lonely position. i just feel alone. my quiet david bowie music and cold feet just make me feel very solitary. i feel the need to elaborate, but i just can't explain. its confusing.
run run run run
run run run away
why do people go to bed so early?
maybe i will just go and write more in the back of people's journal. (yes i know thats gramatically incorrect.)
music: dur.
unsettling.
Sunday, February 15, 2004
i missed it!
i missed valentines day doing shows. real shame. i did get valentines, and kisses, and kissies. kisses are hershey's chocolate kisses. kissies are attacking people with black lipstick. and being attacked. its funny cause the ones on me are kinda smeared and i just look sooty. rock.
im glad its over. it was kind of like watching a train wreck. or a car crash.... i'll tell you what WAS like watching a car crash was watching julie test the flying... thing. i just kept saying "i cant watch" because i was so afraid she would fall... she DID fall the first time, like six feet... it was scary. and she had to test it over and over, and it never worked. mr. renner worked so hard on this crazy machine that let her come down slowly from the 8 foot platforms to the ground... and it never really worked. shame. but its probably good, because i didnt want julie to die.
this post was pointless. didnt really say anything, and now i have to go to bed. stupid being sick and dad wanting me to get healthy. i think i'll sleep sitting again, im starting to like it.
happy valentines day. hope you kissed and cuddled.
music: aladdin sane.
Friday, February 13, 2004
xxfriday the thirteenthxx
its actually been a pretty cool day.
marc got me a carnation. cause he is cute. max.
i was deleriously tired this morning. i kept like, falling over. i didnt get tons of sleep, cause i had to sleep sitting up... tricky. so me and my mom hauled a recliner up to my room... its in the middle of my floor right now. so now my other strange middle-of-the-room chair isnt lonely anymore. in fact its rather crowded. it was the scariest though... sitting in the chair, i was a good seven feet closer to my alarm clock than normal. so when my alarm went off in the morning, it scared the pants off of me... SO LOUD! and i was totally in an intense dream and it seemed like a crazy explosion... sooo loud and scary. and i hit my hello kitty snooze button and went back to sleep, and when it went off again it STILL scared me! it was ridiculous. and all morning i had to hold onto stuff to keep from just toppling. it was funny.
school was kinda not cool besides that, i suppose. im starting to really dislike graphics. i love ms menke, but we just dont think alike at all. ive been working on coming up with a personal logo and she likes everything that i hate as far as the ideas i'm coming up with... which are few and far-between. i was really very frustrated. it made me sad.
my logo for the muirfield run-walk thing didnt turn out quite right, either. i mean, i don't hate it, but it isn't going to win. it just isnt that good-looking. i could have done a better one, with more time. oh well.
shows resume tonight! im excited about that. hopefully they go well.
so i totally have matches again. even better, my book of matches features our 36th president lydon b. johnson. its really very excellent. for some reason this got me thinking about lbj. i dont know a thing about him. more than anything i wonder if he was a cool guy. i wonder if any of our presidents were cool guys? like, would i enjoy hanging out with any of the american presidents? its hard to tell. you can never tell what they are like because they are so much in the spotlight they cant really be themselves... i wish i knew a president well. but then, if i really want to get to know him for him, why would i need a president? couldnt i just get to know ANYONE really well? that would be an accomplishment.
that was probably ridiculously stupid. ignore everything after the matches.
i have a valentine... heehee!
music: the proclaimers, "im gonna be (500 miles)" and aladdin sane. and the darkness. and... everything.
Thursday, February 12, 2004
at least i didnt have dr. dairo
so i went to the doctor today. cause my ear has been killing me all day.
doctor: well... here's the thing. its fairly likely that your eardrum could pop.
awesome.
he did say the pain would go away if it popped, though. hmm.
music: besides my own silent screams and the ringing in my left ear, aladdin sane. honestly, its really very glam rock.
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
art historians dont need math
so im not doing it.
ha.
i have a cold. a fairly nasty one. lots of other people have them too. everyone: drink orange juice.
i should be sleeping.
i read my entire blog on monday... it was weird. my how things have changed. i think. gosh, i dont even remember.
stayed home today. mostly watched mtv and vh1. not so bad. saw more rap videos that i really care for, but i guess you'll have that.
i dont want to go back to school. i have a total headful. but i have to. cause im really not that sick anymore. damn everything.
except david bowie.
i know there was something i meant to say, but i dont know what it was.
music: the darkness. heehee.
Sunday, February 08, 2004
one of these days
...im actually going to post one of these horribly scathing things i write. im just getting so sick of it.
if you REALLY want to talk,
talk TO me
not ABOUT me.
repteat: NOT about me.
music: david bowie
killkill.
yes, that's it. they're WEARING TREES.
hello. shows all day today. last night's show went sooooo much better than i thought it would... silly actors pulled it together. tech was decent. today's tech wasn't so hot. but i had a really great time anyway. i cant wait until next weekend... i think i will go crazy without it for so many days. i mostly just like wearing black and sitting around in the dark and getting back massages all the time... mmm massage lines.
post-show tonight was sweet. me, miyoung, sam, beth and anna w. went down to Pochi. it was my first time going, so i was all excited-style. it was really very good, i had a kiwi smoothie, but they were out of boba!!! so i just had it plain. we also ordered fried tofu, which is awesome. id never had tofu before. funny thing--it actually tasted like chicken. we listened to 80s music and talked about... i dunno, everything... it was a very good time. i like those kids. oooh oooh and sam shared her lip venom with everyone and my lips veritably exploded. it hurt, sure, but it was TOTALLY worth it. plus, im a runner. im tough. i can take it. miyoung said i looked funny drinking my tea because i my lips were all bigger and stuff. so, you know, if you have twenty dollars to throw away, go to urban and buy me some lip venom.
my nail polish is chipped! but it will be fun to go to church with black nail polish.
im in a goodish mood i guess. but i dont want to sleep and i am entirely dreading tomorrow. i have to write that essay. and do everything else. i dont like it when tech week is over because i dont have an excuse anymore....
and marc has gone and left me mid-conversation. i'm miffed... but mostly just lonely. darn people and their sleeping. wish there was a couch.
music: bowie (so glam rock? what?) and all the show music that's stuck in my head
Friday, February 06, 2004
tonight tonight
tonight is opening night. i am DEFINITELY not counting today's in-school as a show. im hoping on all that is holy that tonight's is better plus five. i also hope more than anything that it is fun. its harder for a show to be fun when it isnt good. damn you, writers. but i am still pretty excited. teching is one of my most favorite things ever. i am actually starting to kinda like the propgirling too. i tooootally got to string somebody's costume up on the catwalk cause they left it on my table. and of course we have like, three librettos hostage too. what larks... is it sick that i really like to torment the actors? but yeah, the prop stuff is actually fun. and im learning to do flies, too... i need more practice though. its so weird because it uses muscles that i rarely use, especially when i am not exercising at all... so yeah, my abs and arms are kinda sore. but its a good kind of sore. it feels nice if i stretch it out. anyway, i think i need to go get ready... which entails... something...
the main reason i like tech is that it got me out of school all day today. plus... rob has awesome stories. "hey... give that back!" (in reference to his driver's license, which three girls were using to snort cocaine in his tent at the world electronic music festival. holy wow.)
music: backstreet boys, the cure
yes, backstreet boys.
Thursday, February 05, 2004
why isnt this paper being written?
cause. it just isnt.
i really wish i had a legal pad to write things on. i am honestly having a craving for a yellow legal pad.
today was a better day... the show is sort of coming together, which is going to have to be good enough. because we start performing tomorrow morning. me and stella almost flew tonight trying to fly out the border curtain. it was so far out of weight that even with the two of us pulling our hardest it took us off the ground a few times. that was scary. props are getting better... sort of... unless ben doesnt bring those binoculars tomorrow. that would be bad. this tangerine juice is AMAZING. and i totally have a sweethearts date. finally mustered up the courage to ask him, and even so i did it in a note... but it was a "check one, yes or no" note... which was pretty cute, if i do say so. he said yes. but not until sending me a note back which said "are you serious? check one: yes, yes, burrito." naturally, i checked burrito. come on, what would YOU do? but yeah, i am honestly pretty excited. i think both of us are unconventional enough that we will be able to have fun while being dirt poor and etc. i think we could have a really good time. an unusual one, but i am more than down for that. thats what i like.
today wasnt so bad. plus i am fulllll of caffeine from my dnL i had at dinner. time to write a paper.
music: sting (shut up, ok! i was RAISED on sting!)
oh, tech highlights:
Sid: "Lauren, its your song!" (take it easy, by the eagles. we were discussing the eagles earlier and i mentioned it was my favorite)
Rob: "Are you saying Lauren's easy?! That isnt very nice."
Sid: "Hey... she did let me gel her scoops."
oh and i have the number two best butt on tech. i'll take it. anna is number one, of course.
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
i'll gel YOUR scoops!
its tech week. i mean, hell. i mean, tech week.
its not that i hate everything, its just that i dont like anything. except people. i like some people. but not all. because i am elitist. and glam rock? school has been unbearable this week. i have been trying to distract myself but it isnt easy. history class is now "draw sardonic pictures with crayons" class, math class is "eat and zone out" class, computer graphics is "listen to music and pretend to have a purpose to putting pixels on a screen" class. english class is "there is no freaking way i will ever get this paper done" class. i should be working on my essay right now but im NOT. cause i cant think of ANYTHING. maybe i need to think harder. maybe i need to die. i decided the other day that i would probably rather die than write this essay. of course, that wont drive me to commit suicide or anything, but if i happened to get hit by a car or spontaneously combust before friday it wouldnt be a big deal. someone else would have to do props though. i am a little sad about props because we arent using the trampoline for carlo. it would have been so neat. darn those costume people and their bad timingness. i love them as people though. honest i do. i love all my techie girls...good group this year. they are so nice to me when i am pissy. which is most of the time.
this is damn good juice though. however, it isnt making it quite all the way to my soul like the bottle promised. but my mouth is happy. real pity it isnt spreading. or making me a brilliant essay writer or a motivated student. or being otherwise useful.
i am so miserable right now.
and my uterus hurts.
music: music from this ridiculously boring and bad show.
egh.
Sunday, February 01, 2004
but flowers will make you pretty...
seth's hawaiian-style party was fun. it was mostly his family and some church kids, but it was still fun. quiet fun. we played a really cool game though. i got killed off in the first round. whee! happy birthday seth.
tech all day today. it was fun, but hard work. stella and i had a hellish time trying to get out some twelve-foot flats... poor kid cant even have babies now. but i got lots of props done and made an attic. but it doesnt look like an attic yet. i need to fix it.
and that was today, basically.
you're so neat.
music: jars
. Adam .
. Alex .
. Amy .
. Andrea .
. Arvind .
. Cynthia .
. Daria .
. Kevin .
. Maggie .
. Michelle .
. Mike .
. Miyoung .
. Mukul .
. Sam .
. Sanjana .
. Shannon .
. Xin .
I look at:
. Cat and Girl .
. Scary Go Round .
. Toothpaste for Dinner .
. Natalie Dee .
. Questionable Content .
. Diesel Sweeties .
. Sinfest .
. Exploding Dog .
. Homestar Runner .
. My other blog, Mimu's Message.com .
. My livejournal (im such a hipster slut, i know) .
Email me
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