the boring leading the bored

Tuesday, September 28, 2004
j'suis artiste

i bought a sketchbook today and it is blankety-blank-blank-blank. i wanna fill it but i dont have time right now. for honest!--i am supposed to be doing a report on duane michals. i don't want to do it. i love duane michals, and his work. but i dont want to doooo it. i just want to go to bed. and i don't want to get up, either.

i sort of want to get up. i want to see if i got a part in the play i tried out for today. my audition went really well... i nailed my monologue to the wall and they asked me to do a cold reading. i swept the floor with it. that made me deleriously happy for a couple of hours. that was fun. i was feeling incredibly optimistic.

somewhere a happiness vacuum entered the room. shrug.

now i just hope i wont cry if i dont get the part. i hate crying. especially in public. no crying in public. i sure want that part, though. for real.

miss parker gave me dresses. and coats. cause she loooooooves me. which made me happy... i wore one of the dresses today. mrs. schuld told me that if the people who review fashion in Soap Opera Digest saw me they would not appreciate the combination of my crappy pink bag with my pretty dress. i was less taken aback by the fashion criticism than by the fact that mrs. schuld reads soap opera digest. i mean, yeah, she WOULD miss the shows cause she is at school teaching... but wait. SOAPS!?! Mrs. Schuld, DONT WATCH SOAPS. people will think you are an old lady. and you aren't.

i went out in my dress (without a shirt over it, like i had at school). i felt pretty. that's a nice feeling.

the people i love make me kind of sad sometimes.

oh, delerium.

music: bowie



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