the boring leading the bored
Friday, May 28, 2004
put on your red shoes and dance the blues
so shannon and i were totally in the mood for dancing and wanted to have a danse party after school today. but we didnt cause we couldn't think of anyone to invite... poor rain-or-shine outdoor danse party 2004 never got a chance. but perhaps a reschedule? by a show of comments, would you or would you not come to a danse party if we threw one?
i mean it. comment. tell me.
music: bowie setlist (note: don't worry, i wouldnt be in charge of music)
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
my new favorite song
Cactus
by David Bowie
Sitting here
Wishing on a cement floor
Just wishing that
I had just something you wore
I put it on when I go lonely
Will you take off your dress
And send it to me?
I miss your kissin’
And I miss your head
And a letter in your writing
Doesn’t mean you’re not dead
Just run outside in the desert heat
Make your dress all wet
And send it to me
I miss your soup and I miss your bread
And a letter in your writing
Doesn’t mean you’re not dead
So spill your breakfast
And drip your wine
Just wear that dress when you dine
So, sitting here wishing
On a cement floor
Just wishing that I had just something you wore
Bloody your hands on a cactus tree
Wipe’em on your dress
And send it to me
Sitting here wishing on a cement floor
Just wishing that I had just something you wore
(end)
yeah, so the concert was amazing. so amazing that i dont even want to talk about it. (im just that way.) it was sooo great though. and only one more day of school and then exams, so i am less despondent.
wore the ultimate dress of rock to the dubbies tonight, and that was fun.
my brain is sort of dead.
music: the setlist from the concert
Saturday, May 22, 2004
THE ULTIMATE DRESS OF ROCK (tm)
so im making the ultimate dress of rock. here's the tale of my evening:
mall with andrea in search of stuff to wear to the david bowie concert along with the teeshirts i screenprinted (they turned out beautifully, i could hardly contain myself). i just ended up getting sunglasses (sooo cute. fossil. rhinestones.) and a free sweater because andrea's cutie indie pants were buy one sale item get another free. but yeah. so then we stopped by starbucks and got some iced coffees... which they made us mix ourselves. it was the strangest ever. we forgot to get decaf. and then we went chez andrea to watch the best of bowie dvd. so then i got home around midnight, and found myself super-untired. remember, i didnt get decaf at starbucks. so i decided to work on a dress for the dubbies.
i cant decide whether i want to tell all about my creation or save it to be a surprise at the dubbies. but i will say: birthday cake dress, say hello to my sewing machine and CORSET TIES.
mmm corset ties.
music: david. bowie.
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
didnt didnt
you know my name.
lets be friends.
lets me stop being shy and you... i dont know.
so, what do you say?
music: waltz #2, elliot smith
::inferiority complex strikes::
just kidding.
your coolness>mine
Thursday, May 13, 2004
dear angelfire,
you suck so hard.
music: tommy
Monday, May 10, 2004
so easily outgrown
i think the saddest song to me is Life Like Weeds by Modest Mouse. im not too sure why.
music: coheed and cambria
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
time...its trick is you and me
so tired. i should be sleeping, but i need to write. ive been needing to write for days... i wanted to write on my birthday. i wrote on my birthday last year, i wanted to do it again. but i was just too tired. now i am probably more tired, but i cant just keep going around thinking like im writing. i arrange my thoughts into paragraphs and plan writings that i just cant write. im too busy and too tired.
im seventeen now. i guess that was yesterday that that happened. it wasn't a very good day. of course, it did have good parts. but generally, the brokenspiritedness that has been upon me recently made it sad. maybe i am being selfish and ungrateful for people trying to make my day special, but its hard to realize that birthdays dont mean super much... or at the very least, arent magic. however, i do think it is unfair that i have cried on two out of my past three birthdays. thats unfair. this time it was just the tiredness plus perhaps hormone troubles plus my dad being sorta mean to me/stressing me out plus feeling like my birthday was unspecial. you know, it was only unspecial because it was such a long day filled with work. i didnt have any "me time." so i guess im taking it now.
i kind of feel like crying again.
im so tired. why am i so tired? i mean, the obvious answer is not enough sleep and too much work, but why can't my body take it!? im sure the majority of the population is working a lot harder than i am, and they arent having breakdowns or dropping dead. me, however... i teeter on the edge of insanity. it isnt fair... i am so feeble. i should be able to handle this. why cant i? i hate feeling weak. i hate not having control.
i just dont understand. anything. i dont understand how long it has been since my sixteenth birthday. all i know is that im still listening to the cds i got for that birthday, but nearly everything else has changed. i dont understand. i was in love on my sixteenth birthday. okay, that's a lie... i wasnt in love. but i was damn close. now i am just looking for someone to maybe kiss around with or something. and of course having no luck. ive felt nasty about that sort of thing lately. rob said it best... spring causes loneliness. i think perhaps i am looking out of my league. i think perhaps i am growing less attractive as i age, which is horribly unjust for i am only seventeen. (seventeen feels old and young at the same time.) that diet thing is long dead... it wasnt working and the lack of sugar plus lack of results was making me depressed. shrug.
the big good news is that IM TOTALLY GOING TO THE BOWIE CONCERT!!! my aunt is the gr-eatest.... got me tickets on ebay for my birthday. somehow i cant get excited about it though... at least not as excited as i should be. im probably just too tired. it just cant sink in. my brain cant take it.
need to go shower. shame i am too tired to wake up early enough to use my straightener.
gosh.
music: time, david bowie
why do i feel so sad?
must be the post-birthdaydepression depression.
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